What The Hell?

You're on your knees
Begging please
Stay with me
But honestly
I just need to be a little crazy

All my life I've been good but now, I'm thinking what the hell
All I want is to mess around and I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me, you can't save me, baby, baby
All my life I've been good but now, whoa, what the hell

What... what... what... What the hell?

Love the song and love the lyrics. Again the lyrics are meaning something to me here. I know that everything is ok now. That's the main thing. It's all good. There isn't much to say now. Tiredness is kicking in. And it is late at night. I just love this song so much. Listening to it non stop now :)

Can't Catch Tomorrow

A little piece of me grows old
I keep on walking down this road
I've seen a million people change
but I will stay the same
and I know you wanna steal and borrow
and I know you will never catch, you're never gonna catch tomorrow

Yet again I have found some lyrics which mean something. I keep walking down the same roads.... I've seen a million change..... but I'm always gonna stay the same. It's how life goes. It might be like this forever. Doesn't bother me. Thing's are just great now. Plans are to come back late from uni. I liked it today. Gonna take a trip to the hospital later, and literally. Well...... not of course... it's all in my head. It's the way I live. It's probably gonna happen tomorrow as well. Cos I can make it happen. And no one can stop that. It's the way things go round here. Nothing and no one is gonna change. I'm not gonna let it. It's nice like this. Very nice. :)

Streets Of Nowhere

These city lies,
The bullshit smiles,
The inside jokes and the changing style.

But when I'm here,
I leave behind,
What I don't need
'Cause everytime I walk these streets I know they're mine.

The lyrics are all true. This song is on non stop now. It's so catchy and so true. I leave everything back in reality and the streets I walk on are in my head. The streets of nowhere. I feel that it makes a lot of sense. Everything is changing, well not everything, but some things are. I can battle it. I can deal with it. It's all good. Just think positive. Positive is good.

It's just another day,
Living here this way,
Nothing ever troubles me,
And I say, "Lalalaa lalalaala, Lalalaa lalalaala la,
Everything's ok."

My favourite bit of the song. It's just another day... living with the daydream... nothing ever troubles me. And I sing lalalaa lalalalaaaaaaaa. Everything's ok. Cos everything is GREAT! No matter what happens I always pick myself up. I see this as an advantage of being me really. Just turn around. I can do it. All I know is that everything is ok :)  

We're Not Gonna Take It

Oh we're not gonna take it
No, we ain't gonna take it
Oh we're not gonna take it anymore

We've got the right to choose it
There ain't no way we'll lost it
This is our life, this is our song


This song speaks out for us all. I'm really getting into this song now. We have the right to make our own opinions.... Today... was ok. A lot less daydreaming. Didn't really bother me. I came up with different scenarios to fit the scenery. And it worked very well. That's all that mattered. My good deed paid off, and I feel good now. And I'm gonna do another good deed tomorrow. Good deeds for other people make you feel a better person. I now have a plan to read more. It probably won't work but I'll give it a go. And this is all I have to say now. 


We're free!! Yeah! 

Go Your Own Way

You can go your own way
Go your own way
You can call it
Another lonely day
You can go your own way
Go your own way


This was the last song I played on guitar hero. Guitar hero of which I played most of the day. I finally had a day of rest. A day of daydreaming. It was great. I loved it. It's late and now I have nothing much to say. Apart from life is great right now. That's it. I can go my own way. You can go your own way. We can all go our own way's. And that's it for now. 

Maladaptive Daydreaming

Maladaptive daydreaming has its ups and downs. It can give you creativity, help you see issues from different angles and can help us act quick. It helped me with all of them things. But then the cons, which are not very nice. Stress, lack of concentration, clumsy, hard to keep a relationship with someone and difficulty to complete tasks. I again do all of these. I can't help myself. It really does make me think about life. Are we here for a reason? Am I here for a reason? There are many questions in life which will be unanswered. We cant help but daydream excessively. I am addicted to it. Fact. I create all different scenarios which lands me in all different situations. And I make myself live it inside of my head. Because it makes me feel better. 


The real question is, why do we daydream? And the answer is, to escape reality. We all do it. Every single one of us. But to daydream excessively is not normal. But then, what is normal? I don't know what normal is. It's personal opinion. Everything these days is personal opinion. Nothing is ever a fact any more, life is all opinion based. Or is it? Here's me typing all this and not knowing if anyone is reading it. I do it to express my feelings. Because it makes me feel better. I guess we all do it these days. And yet, I am daydreaming my life away with no one to help me. 


I guess in order to try and stop daydreaming is to find, and kill the source of it. I would kill it, but I can't do that. The source to my daydreaming is a person. The source to my daydreaming is a relative of mine. I think it's quite sad really. The amount of things I have done for them, and they have done nothing to repay me. It's gone on for years now. I do wish they would move out. I even daydream what life would be like without them. It would be great. I do want to move out next year. But... I would be moving away from all my memories and daydreaming. I don't know if I could do it. It would be to hard. Life can be hard or easy. It can be however we can take it. Well, now I guess it's back to daydreaming now, it's the thing I can do which makes me happy. 

All My Life

All my life I've been searching for somethin'
Somethin' never comes, never leads to nuthin'
Nothin' satisfies, but I'm gettin' close
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope

All night long I dream of the day
When it comes around, and it's takin'away
Leaves me with the feelin' that I fear the most 
Feel it come to life when I see your ghost


This song just helps me daydream. I feel like the lyrics mean something, something precious to life. Just daydreaming my life away. And yet I don't really seem to care. Should I? I don't think I'll ever know.I don't know if I wanna know either. All I know is that today was a good day. Most of essay done now. Things are going great. Late at night now. Bed soon. And all night long I'm gonna be dreaming of the next day. I seem to do that sometimes. Don't know why. It's just weird. Life's weird anyway. One day I'm gonna find out the meaning of life, and I know it. I feel like this is enough now. I'll recap tomorrow. 


But I'm gettin' close closer to the prize at the end of the rope

Crazy Crazy Nights

Sometimes days are so hard to survive 
A million ways to bury you alive 
The sun goes down like a bad bad dream 
You're wound up tight, gotta let off steam 
They say they can break you again and again 
If life is a radio, turn up to ten 


This is so true. I've been listening to it all day. It made me feel really good, and really happy. I don't know what made me start listening to this, but it's really good. Gotta turn the music up. The louder the better some people say. And yet again, there was a day full of daydreaming. Not much work done. Sat down, typed a few words, didn't make sense, then I turned the music on. Tomorrow means war. Cracking down with the work. It's gotta be done, not leaving thing's til the last minute again. Today wasn't hard, it was fun. Joined a band, didn't get arrested, and ended up in hospital, twice. Fun times. Again. Gonna prepare for more to come. And edge things back to normal. Less times in hospital would be nice, I kinda wanted it to edge that way tonight. It was kinda sad actually. 


The reality of this situation is that I didn't really join a band, I didn't nearly not get arrested and I did not end up in hospital. Twice. I made it up. Cos I felt like it. Note to self, daydream less about being in hospital. I'm kinda getting sick of it. The music thing is getting better now, a lot better. Daydreaming getting a bit out of control, but I can handle it. You've got to face challenges in life anyway. I now leave with this line from this song. 


This is our music, we love it loud. Yeah, and nobody's gonna change me, 'cos that's who I am!!!

Kick In The Teeth

We live in a cold dark world
With venom in its veins
You can spit in my face but I know I'll be okay
Its on the attack, its a war, its a game
A ball and chain chew my arm off to get away
Don't fight it or deny it
Invite it


This is a very catchy song and I feel that the lyrics are true in every way. Don't let life kick you down, just get up and get on with it. You only live once. And I couldn't stop listening to it today. Today.... was interesting. Arrested and in hospital, twice. Could I help it? Yes. Kind of. Some thing's you can't help in life can you? Well hey, some thing's you've got to fight. Life's exciting on so many levels. And what doesn't make you weaker only makes you stronger. Somet like that, it doesn't really make sense to me. You get stabbed which half kills you and your supposed to get stronger? I really feel like it doesn't make sense. 


That didn't really happen. Of course it didn't. It's all in my fantasy world. I'm still yet to find out why I enjoy being arrested in my world. I don't know. And I don't know if I'll ever find out. Maybe cos I'm scared of getting into trouble? Probably not that, I just made that up. Or it probably doesn't matter. I'm never gonna stop daydreaming, because I like things this way. It's not gonna change. I love it to much. :) 

Get Busy Livin'

C'mon you gotta get up you gotta get out
You gotta give it all that you can
You gotta turn it up and play it loud
Cause that's what livin' is all about
Get busy

1st of January again. New year and new times ahead. It's the start again. This time it's gonna be better. Last night was great, and set my mood great. And now everything is great. Looking on the up again. Note to self, get out with friends more and get drunk more. That was pretty damn great last night, gotta do that again soon. All I know is that things are getting better now. 1 more week til I go back to uni but that really won't put me down. I'll work round it. Cos I always do. I'll make something up. Gotta look up for the times ahead now. :)